What they don’t tell you about breastfeeding
Like I am sure lots of first time mums do I attended antenatal classes to prepare me for the wonders ahead. What particularly interested me was the topic of breastfeeding. When the midwife told me that only 1% of women in Britain are exclusively breastfeeding by the time their baby is 6 months old I naturally thought “it sounds hard, but I will survive”. What she didn’t tell me is that no matter how much I read or prepared breastfeeding was going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.
I came out of my Caesarean calm and happy. Maybe I was just unlucky with which midwife I had on the day but it was all downhill from the moment she lifted my baby onto my chest. She lifted my nipple up to my baby’s nose and immediately my daughter latched on. Success I thought! After staying with me for less than one minute the midwife left. My daughter let go her latch and I tried for so long to get her back on. My baby sucked everywhere around my breast leaving deep dark suck marks all over. I was black and blue. The pain was unbearable. I couldn’t tell if she could breathe or not. My initial thought was why was this happening. Why did no one care?
My husband was made to leave me after only one hour of being with our daughter. They wheeled me into the ward and gave her back to me. I was exhausted, in tears and extremely anxious. They shut the curtain and left me alone. I simply sobbed as this is not how I wanted the first hours with my newborn to be.
Another midwife came in and could see me in distress. She taught me the Rugby position (a miracle for mums who have just had a Caesarean). I sat in that bed all night on my own persevering to feed. My baby sucked so hard I had blood. I’ve never experienced pain like this before and combine this with the pain of undergoing major abdominal surgery without any support it felt at the time like the world was ending.
I forced myself to go on. My own mum breastfed me until I was 15 months old. She was my inspiration and I am forever thankful for it now that I’ve experienced it myself. My mum moved in with us for 5 weeks and without her I wouldn’t be where I am today. She sat with me while feeding, made me take deep breaths, relax my shoulders and stay calm. As soon as I had my mums calming support my daughter latched better and was happier. She taught me how to tickle her face to keep her sucking, and helped me understand burping. But mostly when I was done feeding she took her off me and burped/settled her so that I could apply nipple cream and rest. These breaks meant that I could keep going and not over exhaust myself.
I exclusively breastfed for 5 full weeks when the evenings became too much. This is when we introduced 1 bottle of formula at the 7:00 pm bed time feed. I left the room darkly lit and my husband gave the bottle. That first night my baby slept for 5 hours straight. The next day I was back to cluster feeding again all day but at 7:00pm we did the same routine and it worked again. I was following the plan of the amazing Magic Sleep Fairy Alison Scott-Wright and it was working.
My daughter is now 4 months old and almost sleeping through the night. My breastfeeding is well and truly established and I love that one formula bottle a day. In fact I’ve now upped it to two bottles a day. My husband gives her the first morning feed so that I can catch up on the rest I missed out on during the night. My milk supply has adjusted to meet these needs. At first cutting back on breastfeeding hurt and I wondered how other women can do this. Turns out combination feeding is more common than I thought. Everyone says breast is best, but no one takes into consideration a mothers mental health toll. Even if breast is best, a well rested and happy mum in my opinion is more important. I breastfeed all day and hand her over at 7:00pm. I breastfeed during the night and get my rest when I need it. I have a lot to thank my husband for. At the same time I have a lot to thank myself for as I was brave enough to say “I need help!”.
I don’t think my nipples will ever really recover from the trauma of feeding in hospital but my advice to all the new mamas out there is to breathe, stay calm and find someone who can support you daily on your breastfeeding journey. I know that many new mums out there can’t establish breastfeeding. That is 100% ok! You are doing what is right for you and your baby. I was lucky, and no matter how anyone feeds their baby there is no judgement here. Oh and no one told me about the contractions breastfeeding make your womb do to get back to its actual size. I thought I had escaped labour! How wrong I was.
From my experience to yours, everyone is different, every baby is different and every day is different. You’ve got this!
Browse some of the breastfeeding products I used in the Belle & Pepper shop.
Amelia xx
Founder & Creative Director
